being a man is hard. there is a lot expected of a man in modern culture. he should be well educated, well dressed, have a successful career -- but what of his personality and character? what of chivalry?
I have been reading the 'Wheel of Time' series by Robert Jordan. Even though the times the characters live in are in constant upheaval, what is expected of a man isn't. the men are chivalrous. true, they acknowledge women as difficult (and vice versa) but men are taught to risk their lives for women. they are taught to be good husbands, not to sleep around, to listen and communicate with their mates and to be great fathers.
in this day and age men are characterized by their drive in the workplace but the family aspect seems to have been forgotten.
in Asia most of, if not all, the responsibilities that go with raising a child fall on the woman. to me, that's not fair. the father figure is extremely important in proper functioning family dynamics. however, in this day and age, the 'father figure' does not necessarily mean 'biological father'.
I can see why women are putting off marriage or not getting married at all. I quit my job not so long ago for various reasons, mainly, the environment was something that just could not be improved. My friend put it simply and accurately, a job is like marriage, hard to get in to, hard to get out of -- choose carefully!
My friend Yumi who is half Japanese and half black told me, ignore society. get married in your own time. She rushed into a marriage at 29 to beat that '30 mark', she had a child at 30, and then divorced not long after. her advice was simple, don't be in a hurry and go at your own pace. and most importantly, choose carefully, because you never HAVE to choose, society just makes you feel like you do.
I have grown up hearing about abusive and cheating husbands, where the woman is left to care for the children, no matter how many of them. Some taking on two jobs just to make ends meet. A life for a woman is hard, why should society make it harder for her?
My godbrother knew a woman who got pregnant to 'keep a man' because her mother taught her 'a woman is not a woman unless she has a man'. Women are not defined by men, especially not in this day and age.
In Robert Jordan's books women are strong, intelligent, willful and think for themselves. Women are not looked down on for being strong and intelligent but in our modern times we still are. Women strive to get higher educations and are told by people that 'men don't like that'. Women are afraid to earn more money from their spouses because they are afraid they will be loved less. women, no matter how strong, are taught by society to make themselves less.
why should we care?
that's what I keep asking. women have to get higher degrees and earn more because the only people that can take care of us are ourselves.
I do want to fall in love but I hope to fall in love with a man much stronger than I am and who is secure with himself, so I can be as strong as I can be without the subconscious fear that's been instilled in me
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