Personal Experiences in Relation to the Article Below

Growing up I had a preference for Caucasian men. It was from media influence and also based on personal experiences. Growing up, Asian guys didn't find me attractive. The guys who chased me, who made the effort to get to know me, who saw me as beautiful, were all Caucasian. To Asian guys I was too smart, too ambitious, even too fat, (because their ideal girls were all size 0). I studied engineering, to which one Asian guy remarked, "That is such an unfeminine career!"

I know how the author feels. I am labeled a sell out for dating white guys. But no Asian guys ever approached me. The ones that I approached, I didn't fit their 'image'. Strangely enough, the Asian guys I met had an image of an Asian woman to be exactly like the stereotype: subservient, quiet, docile. She is the accessory item who sits pretty next to her man and drinks tea. When they get home, she should bring him his slippers. Every white guy I dated loved that I had fire, called him out on being wrong, and just accepted me the way that I am.

I was always the one to call off the relationship though. It's a complicated matter and too personal. I remember, not too long ago, I was at an Asian networking event where I was singing the praises of hotties like Daniel Henney. I was glad more Asian men are coming in to the mainstream that defied stereotypes. In fact, I've kept pictures of them on my blog.

A few Asian guys at the event said, "Oh, we don't want our pictures up." Um, first, they weren't even hot, and second, I never asked them. The last Asian guy who tried to hook up with me I couldn't date because he was one of the sheep. I met up with him and his friends, the Asian crowd that goes together in groups to go skiing or ice skating, things like that, to go to an improv show that had Eliot Chang in it, (my idea and it was an internet meetup thing). None had real interests or personal opinions. It was like being back in high school where all the guys got the same haircuts and all the girls had powdered faces and dark lipstick. And they all shopped at J. Crew or Banana Republic.

I can't be with someone who is easily influenced by others. My own brother is like that. He's the first to call me a sell out if he knew who I dated. My brother's point of view is: Asian women shouldn't date outside their race. He even hinted that she should take any Asian guy who's willing to have her, as long as she doesn't date outside her race. I don't know if his point of view has changed, but so many Asian guys like him share that point of view.

I remember one Chinese guy friend who cheered whenever he saw an Asian guy with a white girl. It's okay for a guy to date outside his race but not a girl?

I'm picky about boyfriends and I'm picky about friends, because it is really hard to find good people. I mean really good people who will stand by you and support you. I've never been in groups because everyone sways toward opinions that won't rock the boat. Since I'm always the one who asks, why not?, I'm generally the first to drift away. People don't like to think too much. They tend to just follow the status quo. It's easier to follow a view dictated by others and defend it than come up with their own.